A Life in My Shoes

Monday, November 13, 2006

Expression

All of my closest friends could tell you that I hate to express my true feelings. I even hate to express my true feelings to myself. I feel guilty complaining about the trials in my life because I know that God has blessed me with so much. Blessings that I don't deserve. I wonder why I am so lucky considering all of the hurt that our world sees right now. Therefore, I always try to take a positive outlook on every situation--good or bad. Which this is definitely a good philosophy the majority of the time. Unfortunately, in the process, I hide a lot of my feelings because I feel guilty expressing them. With all that is going well in my life, how can I complain about a few things that go awry?

Today, I had a revelation while playing piano. First of all, music has a way of tapping into my emotions. I can get lost in my head when I'm playing. In the end, I would guess that composers want their music to "strike a chord" (please excuse extremely corny phrase, but I just couldn't resist!) within everyone that either plays or hears the piece. When I play a piece of music, I don't have to feel guilty for expressing my melancholy mood for that's the emotion that this certain piece is trying to express to the listener (or in my case the performer). Who knew that some notes slapped on a page could help me become honest with myself, and better yet not feel guilty about it.

1 Comments:

  • I can totally identify. For years, I ignored any emotion that wasn't happy. Music was my outlet. I listened to lots of angry and sad music (Radiohead's "Creep" was my favorite), because singing along gave words to all of the feelings that I wouldn't express. Now that I'm expressing my own emotions more often, I listen to music that reflects how I'm feeling instead of letting the music define how I'm feeling. It's a subtle difference, but it's a world of difference. Thanks for this post.

    By Blogger The Black Sheep, at 8:25 PM  

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